Ode To Amanda

I remember talking eagerly about books to Amanda during one of her visits. Looking at me, she suddenly said,

“Are you going to be an author?”

I was taken aback with surprise. But my answer was,

“I hope so.”

In 2022 she was suddenly and unexpectedly diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. Even while she was going through intense chemotherapy, while on a Bible study Zoom call with my Mother, she saw me pass by the camera and called,

“Emma! One of my favorite people! You’re such a beautiful girl. I can’t believe that my niece is going to be a famous author someday! When you are, will you let me have a percentage of your book deal?”

“I’ll give you 30 percent,” I said, grinning.

On the morning of July 18th, 2023, at the age of 38, she passed away.

She was always so full of life. She always told me she loved me. She always encouraged me in my creativity. She was always laughing. She was always pointing everyone to Christ.

Amanda sang, Amanda painted, Amanda wrote poetry. Amanda was one of the most amazing artists and one of the most amazing people that I’ve ever known.

It’s hard for me to even begin to comprehend that right now---this very minute---Amanda is in Heaven with the Jesus that she loved and praised so much as she suffered. She told us repeatedly,

“If one person comes to Christ through this, it will have been worth it.”

And,

“I’m no more special than the next person.”

Amanda knew that I wanted to be a writer almost before I did. Maybe I can no longer give her 30 percent of my first book deal—but I can seek to honor her memory with what I write. Amanda, my first published book I’ll dedicate to you.

I thank Amanda for showing me that even death can be a beautiful thing. I thank Amanda for always laughing. I thank Amanda for always being excited, energetic, and wonderful. I thank Amanda for being Amanda.

Praise be to God for His wondrous love. Praise be to Him for His wonderful story. Amanda was one of my favorite characters in it.

A poem by Amanda Olinger when she received her final diagnoses

Will you stay with me now

As the road’s clearly marked

Where faith and sight meet

And I finally depart

Will you stay by my side

Despite all the unknowns

Because the storm’s finally ending

And I get to go home

Will you lean in so close

To hear my last breath

It’s really a song

A song about death

It’s not a dark melody

Full of fear or regrets

But a quiet refrain

About how I’ve been blessed

Will you stay with me now

For my final goodbye

Because I’m taking a trip

To my home in the sky