The Most Original Story of ALL Time

Photo credit to Recardo Cruz.

The Most Original Story of ALL Time

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The fire was all-consuming.

I watched, my hands helplessly tied behind my back as the flames engulfed the castle. 

“No!” I cried. “Why is this happening? Why did it come to this?”

I heard his laugh then, cold, high, and brittle. I managed to spin to face him. The cowl of his cloak covered his face, and only his eyes glinted as he watched the hoards of dark men attacking the beautiful white tower as it slowly crumbled to dust.

“Why?” I asked again. “Why did you do this? You had absolutely no motivation whatsoever!”

He turned to me then. “Don’t you understand, farm boy?” He hissed. “I’m the evil overlord. I don’t need motivation. All I need is to destroy the world.”

“BUT WHY?” I screamed.

There was a brief silence.

“Because,” he said, then cackled awkwardly and turned back to watch the destruction of the tower.

This doesn’t make a lot of sense…I thought, but my mind was quickly distracted from logical thoughts as the tallest tower of the castle began to tip.

This is all too real.

Then I woke up.

I sat up in bed, gasping, sweat beading on my forehead. I quickly looked around my stone bedroom. The fire was in the hearth, calmly popping and cracking. Everything was in its place, neat, clean, and organized.

It had all been a dream.

Bet you didn’t see that coming. I sure didn’t.

I leaned back on the silk pillows, trying to calm my racing heart. I closed my eyes, but sleep refused to claim me. 

This was the thirteenth vivid dream I’d had in the last month, but I was sure it wasn’t a coincidence. Why would it be? What did you think this was, some stupid fairy-tale?

But I was shaken nonetheless. I got out of bed. I needed to clear my head. I’d go to the kitchen for a glass of water.

I stepped out of my bedroom and made my way through the King’s castle to the kitchen. Dawn was coming as I returned from my trip back towards my bedroom. I would get dressed before going down to sword practice with my secret mentor, I thought, stepping into the castle entryway. He was eighty, and really wise, and still going strong. I think he’ll live forever.

It was then that I saw all of them. They were all standing right in front of the great castle doors.

How could this be?

My Mentor, beard gray and face wise with age, the only one who believed in me.

My Best Friend, who had been by my side from the beginning and who I trusted more than anyone.

My Love Interest, who was the princess and far above me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to marry her, but things have a way of working out.

And lastly…

The Villain, whose face I couldn’t see because he was wearing a creepy black mask. 

“YOU!” I cried.

They all turned and looked at me.

“Ahh! Farm Boy!” My Best Friend said, smiling nervously. Why was he smiling? What was going on here?

“Best Friend!” I cried, rushing up to them. What were the chances that I would leave  my sword back in my room? But I had.

“You must know what’s going on,” I said to him. “After all, I trust you more than anyone.”

“Yes, erm,” Best Friend said, shuffling his feet. “Well…”

I turned to face the Villain, who had his hand on the princess’ shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

The Villain cackled. Then he started monologuing. 

“I am kidnapping the princess of course!” He wheezed. “After which I will proceed to BURN this castle to the ground!”

My dreams. 

They had some truth to them.

Bet you didn’t see that coming either.

“How did you get in here?” I demanded.

The Villain cackled again. “That’s the best part,” he hissed, pointing at Best Friend. “He let me in.”

I turned to look at my Best Friend. “It isn’t true.”

He looked ashamed, but firm. “I’m sorry, Farm-Boy-to-Hero,” he said. “There’s more to the world than you know. I’ve been helping the Villain for months, and I think you need to listen to what he has to say. He offers a better way of life.”

“No!” I gasped. “No, Best Friend.”

Best Friend gestured to the Villain. “Tell him what you have to say.”

There was an awkward silence. 

We all looked at the Villain.

“Oh…uh, destroy the world,” he said. “It will be better that way.”

“BUT WHY?” I asked.

“Because,” he said. 

Best Friend nodded. “You need to listen to us, Hero,” he said. “It’s the best way.”

This was real. Best Friend had betrayed me. 

You DEFINITELY did not see THAT coming.

“Hero!” 

I snapped out of my reverie to see Mentor. He had pulled out a sword from somewhere. 

“RUN!” he yelled. “Only YOU can save this world! Get the Princess and leave!”

“Yeah, OK!” I said. I wrenched the princess out of the Villain’s grip and began to tow her away. 

Then I stopped and looked back to see what would happen.

Mentor leapt forward with a yell. Then the Villain pulled out his own sword and stabbed him in the heart.

“NOOO!” I screamed. 

Mentor seemed to fall in slow-motion. I watched his body hit the ground. Blood was everywhere.

Then Best Friend was in front of me. He had a knife and was brandishing it at the Princess and I. 

It was all over.

I tore my eyes away from Mentor as Best Friend—I mean, Worst Friend led us to the Villain, who was rubbing his hands together. 

This couldn’t happen. My life had been horrible enough already.

I had lost my mother.

I had lost my dog.

I had lost my other dog.*

I had experienced a super vague backstory that had made me the hero I was today.

And would I let myself lose this battle?

No.

“This is our last chance,” I whispered to Princess, tears streaming down my face. “You duck down while I give a final stand.”

“How dare you!” she gasped. “Didn’t you know that I know the ancient art of Kung-fu? I don’t need protection! I can fend for myself. We’ll both end this!”

“Oh, we’re trying to reverse the old helpless-princess stereotype by promoting a strong female lead?” I asked. “OK, cool!”

When we were almost to the villain, I whispered, “One, two, three…now!!!”

The Princess started doing super epic fight moves. She attacked Worst Friend. She was basically stronger than a man. How was it possible? I don’t know. 

Anyway, I took a deep breath, trained my arms toward the villain, and then I flew. I literally defied gravity, racing towards him over the air, knocking him down. 

“You can fly?” He gasped.

“Plot twist,” I replied smugly before grabbing his own sword and stabbing him in the heart.

“That was NOT anti-climactic at ALL!” Cried Princess, who had now knocked Worst Friend unconscious.

“I KNOW!” I cried, relief overwhelming me as I dropped to my knees beside the Villain’s maimed body.

“Hero, now my father will elevate you to Lord-dom and we can marry!” She cried.

“Perfect!” I said. “This all is just…Unbelievable!”

  “I’ll call the guards and have them drag these bodies away!”

“Okay!” I laughed. “Why didn’t we do that in the first place?”

“Do you think this ending is wrapping up waaay too quickly?” she asked, ignoring my question.

“Definitely not!” I said. “The fifty other chapters were filler writing, anyway.”

The Villain suddenly gave a trembling gasp. He was still alive?!

“Hero,” he whispered, his voice shaking with effort. “I need to tell you one last thing.”

“OK,” I said.

“I’m your father,” he whispered.

“WHAT????” I screamed.

Bet you didn’t see that coming.

*Nod to Alcatraz VS the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson