Ricky Nelson and the Art of Pleasing Yourself

The term “please yourself” naturally and rightfully has selfish connotations, so when I first heard the Ricky Nelson song Garden Party through Owl City’s electro-pop cover, my first impression wasn’t positive. The chorus “You see, you can’t please everyone // So you gotta please yourself” sounds extremely self-focused and dismissive of the importance of creating art for others. But after reading Owl City’s blog post giving the song’s backstory, I found that there was a lot more to the lyrics than I first thought, and that, instead of telling the listeners to create selfishly, Ricky was trying to tell them the opposite.

Ricky Nelson was one the biggest teen idols of the ‘50s and in 1971 he and a score of other big artists were asked to perform in a Rock n’ Roll Revival concert hosted in Madison Square Garden. When Ricky Nelson and the Stone Canyon Band got up on stage they performed Ricky’s classic hits. However, when they started singing The Rolling Stones’ “Country Honk” the crowd of hippies booed them off the stage. Ricky Nelson stayed backstage for the rest of the show, refusing to reappear even for the finale.

When people don’t like your creations, it’s hurtful, and if you're like me your gut reaction to criticism is to go on the defensive. But as painful as it is to have your work disliked, I can’t even comprehend how it would feel to come to a show excited to share your music with an audience only to have them instead boo you away.

But Ricky Nelson didn’t go on the defensive and he didn’t become bitter. Instead, he wrote a song. 

I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends

A chance to share old memories and play our songs again

When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name

But no one recognized me, I didn’t look the same

But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well

You see, you can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself

People came from miles around and everyone was there

Yoko brought her walrus, there was magic in the air

And over in the corner, much to my surprise

Mr. Hughes hid in Dylan’s shoes, wearing his disguise

But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well

You see, you can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself

I played them all the old songs, I thought that’s why they came

But no one heard the music, we didn’t look the same

I said hello to Mary Lou, she belongs to me

And when I sang a song about a Honky Tonk, it was time to leave

But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well

You see, you can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself

Someone opened up a closet door and out stepped Johnny B. Goode

Playing guitar like ringing a bell and looking like he should

If you gotta play at garden parties, I wish you a lot of luck

But if memories were all I sang, I’d rather drive a truck

But it’s all right now, I learned my lesson well

You see, you can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself

You see, you can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself

You can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself

Ricky Nelson knew his art had value. He knew that it was worthwhile. But instead of conforming to what the crowd thought was beautiful, he decided to continue to create what he knew was beautiful.

Creating beautiful things in a dark world means that your art probably won’t be appreciated as much as it should. You can’t please everyone, meaning the world most likely won’t value it like you do. So, you’ve gotta please yourself, meaning you are called to create what you know is true and beautiful anyway.

After his untimely death in a plane crash, Ricky Nelson’s son Gunnar wrote about the song Garden Party:

“After a lifetime of pretending to be a character he wasn’t — wearing the sweater on Monday on the set of Ozzie and Harriet after being a real rock star on the weekends — he was writing and performing for his own pleasure and satisfaction. The song was based on his experience at Madison Square Garden and he turned what could have remained the darkest day of his life into his brightest shining moment. Just when the music industry considered him a relic, filing him away as yesterday’s news, he had the biggest hit of his career and it was totally autobiographical.”

Give Garden Party a listen and be inspired to keep creating what the crowds are booing off the stage. 

You can’t please everyone, so you gotta please yourself.